


You Touch Me (as if You're Starving)

by Lemon_Candy



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: (not sure if this is rape or not; tagged it to be safe), Anal Fingering, Confessions, Crying, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, Happy Ending, M/M, Markson if you squint, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Some angst but not really, bottom jinyoung, confusing feelings, slight Manipulation, top jaebum, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-25 07:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemon_Candy/pseuds/Lemon_Candy
Summary: He finally has Jinyoung right where he wants him, and Jaebum isn't about to let this opportunity slide. He's waited far too long to have the younger like this. Jaebumknowswhat they both want.





	1. The Mess We Made

Jaebum takes a generous sip out of his water bottle and plops down on a sofa in the practice room. He’s feeling sore everywhere in his body and probably looks like a complete mess, so Jaebum thinks it’s about time to call a break. While he’s catching his breath, Jaebum glances over to see how Jinyoung is faring. 

For the past few hours, they’ve all been practicing a particularly challenging choreography, and Jaebum can tell the younger is as tired as he is. His moves were sloppier from when they started, his timing is off, and his fatigue is obvious in the way rivulets of sweat are running down his neck. And it wasn’t just Jinyoung; the rest of the members didn’t look better off. In short, everyone was fucking exhausted. The moment the break is announced, the maknaes make a beeline out the door while Mark and Jackson mumble something about going to the bathroom (together? Jaebum really doesn’t want to know), leaving just him and Jinyoung in the studio.

It was both a blessing and a curse.

Of course, Jaebum admires the younger working hard as usual, he really does, but that’s not the only thing on his mind. He takes a deep breath and leans back into the couch, averting his eyes from the view in front of him. If he stares any longer, he’s afraid that he’ll get less than appropriate thoughts of his friend, with his shirt clinging snugly to his frame, the cotton fabric turning semi-transparent under the dampness of perspiration.

“...aebum. Jaebum hyung!” It takes a moment for Jaebum to realize that someone is calling for him. Once he does, Jaebum snaps his head up in the direction of the voice, and suddenly he’s meeting Jinyoung’s face no more than five inches away from his. He jolts back, startled. If the younger notices, he doesn’t comment on it. “What?” Jaebum answers a beat too late. 

Jinyoung’s pouting at him, and he moves to seat himself on the couch beside Jaebum. “I’ve been trying to call you for the last three minutes,” he says with a frown. Had Jinyoung really? Jaebum hadn’t heard a thing. He blames it on his mentally and physically drained state for not noticing sooner. “Sorry,” Jaebum replies dumbly.

But Jinyoung waves it off, shaking his head. “It’s okay,” he assures. Then all of a sudden, the younger’s expression shifts from slightly annoyed to something more bashful, and it’s Jinyoung averting his gaze this time. “Actually, I was wondering something,” Jinyoung starts slowly. Jaebum perks up in interest. He motions for the younger to go on, but Jinyoung doesn’t give a reply immediately. Hesitation is clear on his face, almost as if he’s debating with himself whether or not to say anything at all. In the meantime, Jaebum’s eyes track the younger’s every movement, from the tip of his pink tongue swiping out to wet his chapped lips, to the restless fidget of his hands. 

When Jinyoung finally looks back at him, any traces of shyness have vanished. “Can I come to your room after practice? We haven’t had time to do anything the whole day,” he finishes.

Oh.  _ Oh.  _ So this is what it’s about. Jaebum acts as if he’s thinking about it, simply just to watch the cute, nervous expression return to Jinyoung’s face, but in reality he’s already made up his mind. His answer will always be a definite  _ yes _ .

About two weeks prior, him and Jinyoung had fell into some sort of “habit”. He’s not entirely sure how or when it had started. Perhaps it kicked off that night when they had too much to drink and both ended up getting frisky in the bathroom (nothing happened, except Jaebum had locked them in a stall and kissed Jinyoung for what felt like hours), or maybe that one time they were getting interviewed and Jinyoung’s hand was roaming too far up his thigh. Jaebum doesn’t know, but he supposes it ceases to matter now anyway.

Nowadays, it seems intimacy like that has become commonplace between them. Jaebum doesn’t think twice about slinging an arm around Jinyoung’s hip, and nor does Jinyoung have any second thoughts about hugging Jaebum in public. Sometimes, they’d even share the occasional kiss behind a locked door. It feels nice to have someone to hold close, to have someone’s soft lips against yours.

However, despite the advances, they haven’t went beyond kissing. Jaebum’s thought about it before, about pushing Jinyoung down onto a mattress and taking him or vice versa. But Jinyoung has never shown any indication that he wants that, and Jaebum never brings it up with him. It’s funny, because despite having participated in these conspicuous, non-platonic activities with Jaebum, Jinyoung still maintains that they’re nothing more than close friends. If Jaebum’s hands travel where they shouldn’t or grabs too insistently––which they rarely do––Jinyoung shys away in the blink of an eye with a teasing smile on his lips (“You’re acting like I’m your  _ boyfriend _ , hyung.”)

Jaebum doesn’t think much of it; he likes what they have now, but he can’t deny that he wants more. It’s hard to keep his mind from creating sexual scenarios of him and Jinyoung when he’s alone at night masturbating. When he and Jinyoung are together nearly 24/7, and the fleeting touches they exchange fuel the fire burning inside him, Jaebum finds himself becoming frustrated. He feels like a rubber band stretched so far apart that it’s on the verge of snapping.

So when Jinyoung locks gazes with him with those dark, round eyes of his, and murmurs his next words in a voice barely above a whisper, Jaebum can’t help the rush of excitement and arousal that pulses through his body. It’s all he can think about, even after the others come back and they resume dance practice.

_ “We should go all the way.” _

  
  


______

  
  


Sometime later, after practice finally ends, Jaebum and Jinyoung hurry over to the elder’s dorm. In no time, they find themselves on top of the bed, hands exploring each others’ bodies and breathing unsteady. Jaebum has the younger pinned down right where he wants him. Anticipation, arousal, and relief curls in his gut all at once and he’s high on the feeling of getting to have Jinyoung at last, but a hand on his torso has him pausing in his ministrations. 

“I d-don’t think I want to after all,” Jinyoung stutters, face flushed a pretty crimson and legs held apart on either side of Jaebum. Jinyoung’s jeans have been discarded somewhere along the floor, and he’s clad in nothing except his loose cotton shirt. Jaebum recognizes the fear seeping into the younger’s voice as he quivers and fidgets and grips his broad shoulders tightly. It makes Jaebum want to devour him whole.

Jaebum isn’t at all discouraged by Jinyoung’s protests; if anything, they spur him on to work harder, to try to make Jinyoung feel good. He’s definitely eager to do this. Jaebum is convinced that everything is going to turn out just fine. After all, Jinyoung is simply nervous because it’s going to be his first time with a member of the same sex. Jaebum feels it’s his job as hyung to teach how things like this work, and he keeps his hold firm on the boy squirming below him.

“It’ll be good,” Jaebum promises, brushing the younger’s hair out of his face in a show of tenderness. Jinyoung merely gazes back up at him, his expression uncertain and eyes watery, and shakes his head stubbornly. Jaebum sighs. Although he would have found the action endearing any other day, right now it only serves to further diminish his already threadbare patience. God, did Jaebum want Jinyoung so bad. Ever since he first laid eyes on him, Jaebum has wanted Jinyoung and has never stopped wanting him. He doesn’t know how much longer he can hold back from just tearing into the boy like a starved animal.

When it comes to Jinyoung, Jaebum is quick to lose his calm, collected self.

There’s something about how Jinyoung smiles with those full, plush lips of his, innocent yet so sinfully enticing at the same time. When it's directed at him, Jaebum can hardly focus on anything else. It makes him want nothing more than to push Jinyoung down and kiss him breathless. He could do it now if he really wanted to, but he swallows the urge in favor of attempting to comfort the boy. “I’ll be gentle since it’s your first time. Relax for me, Jinyoungie,” he says sweetly, and it’s almost too easy how Jinyoung melts at those kind words.

Jaebum knows how to handle the younger when he gets nervous. He knows how to handle Jinyoung, period. It’s effortless in the way he can make the other trust him, convince him to let his guard down. Because Jaebum is his dependable older brother who will always want the best for him, someone who has always been there through thick and thin. At least, on the outside.

Jaebum is aware that his intentions for Jinyoung are less than pure and the farthest thing from brotherly. Jinyoung misses all the times Jaebum steals glances of him getting out the shower half naked, or the times he’d stare too long at his exposed collarbones from when his shirt slipped down low enough. It’s a wonder the younger has never caught his hungry, and borderline feral, gaze up until this moment.

Jinyoung jolts when a spit slicked finger circles his rim and enters, causing a foreign sting to shoot up his spine. A broken whimper escapes his lips as Jaebum works two more digits into him, all while words of comfort and praise tumble out his mouth in the moments it’s not occupied with sucking a bruise onto the younger’s neck. The burn of a stretch in such a private area is entirely new to Jinyoung. He’s not sure what to think of it, but then again, he can hardly think at all.

Jaebum keeps touching him in the most sensitive of places, regardless if the words he’s uttering every now and then are “don’t” or “no, hyung,” because Jaebum is certain Jinyoung doesn’t actually mean it. It’s obvious from how the younger is helplessly writhing on the bed and moaning every time fingers graze his prostate that he’s enjoying it, and that’s the only thing that matters. So he continues spreading and scissoring Jinyoung’s tight walls, anticipating how heavenly they’ll feel squeezing around his aching erection.

All it takes for Jinyoung to reach his peak is a few quick strokes and an occasional tongue lapping at the underside of his cock. With a drawn out moan, he spills white into Jaebum’s hand. He proceeds to slump bonelessly onto the sheets and try to catch his breath in his post-orgasmic haze.

But Jaebum isn’t finished yet. He’s waited so long—too long—for this, and it’s not possible for him to stop now. He won’t stop now. Hauling Jinyoung closer, he ignores the apprehensive look sent his way and shoves the head of his cock into that velvety warmth he’s hungered for since day one.

“H-Hyung, wait, I just came,” Jinyoung pants breathily, struggling to keep Jaebum from moving but to no avail. Jaebum can see he’s panicked. There’s no doubt the boy is overstimulated from his recent climax, but Jaebum pushes his whole length in anyway, the whimpers and whines emitting from Jinyoung sounding like music to his ears.

Jaebum immediately begins at a reckless pace, slamming into the boy beneath him with abandon, loving the way Jinyoung’s tight walls clench around him at each thrust. The feel of the younger’s insides enveloping his cock is better than he could’ve ever imagined. Countless nights Jaebum had spent fantasizing about taking Jinyoung like this, fingers digging into the soft flesh of the other’s hips as he sinks his cock into him. It almost feels like a dream still. Everything—Jinyoung—was perfect.

Meanwhile, the younger is overwhelmed by the excessive pleasure coursing through his body. He’s never been pushed beyond his limits like this, but Jaebum seems to enjoy testing him. Tears freely leak out the corner of his eyes as his body jostles along with every snap of their hips. He can’t hold himself back from crying. It’s nearly too much, he wants to tell Jaebum to stop because he’s scared and it  _ hurts _ , but the words are lodged in his throat.

“Please,” Jinyoung gasps out instead, sweat rolling down his temples and mingling with tears. Despite his initial discomfort, he finds himself hard again from the constant friction. When Jaebum keeps hitting that spot inside him, he can’t help but moan louder and grind back against the other in search of more pleasure. Before long, heat coils around the pit of his stomach and he’s near toppling over the edge a second time.

Jinyoung can tell the other is close as well, his pace turning sloppy but not any less forceful, and he tugs Jaebum down for a wet kiss by the neck. The older boy complies, and he doesn’t hesitate to shove his tongue inside, muffling Jinyoung’s cries as he switches their positions. Jaebum moves him to rest atop his body, legs planted on either side, before he pushes the younger back down onto his waiting erection. Jinyoung nearly screams, because in this position Jaebum is able to reach deeper inside him. From there, it doesn’t take much more for Jinyoung. He lets out a sob as he climaxes again, hips stuttering and eyes flying shut.

“Fuck, you look so good like this,” Jaebum groans at the sight of Jinyoung coming undone. “Open your mouth.”

Jaebum pulls out then, pushing at the other boy until he’s laying on his back against the sheets and goes to hover above him. He strokes himself to completion over Jinyoung’s face, sticky ropes of come landing across the younger’s flushed cheeks and in his open mouth. He watches Jinyoung gulp the release down obediently with a pleased hum.

Jaebum collapses beside Jinyoung, feeling more satisfied than he’s been for a long time. He gathers the other boy in his arms and pulls him into an embrace, not minding the sweat sticking to their bodies or the thick stench of sex in the air.

Jaebum is about to fall asleep when Jinyoung suddenly speaks up, timid and barely audible in the quiet room. “Hyung, what are we?” He asks.

From where he’s behind the other boy, spooning him, Jaebum can’t see his expression. But the tremble in his voice makes it apparent that the younger is unsure, scared even. In the back of his mind, Jaebum is a little annoyed. He’s exhausted and ready to sleep. Why couldn’t Jinyoung just make things easy? Hadn’t they just fucked and both enjoyed it? Why couldn’t it be just that?

However, deep down he wants to know the answer just as much as Jinyoung does, if not more so. Jaebum is uncertain if his feelings for the boy resting in his arms are purely sexual, or if they extend to something serious. Does he want them to? Jaebum almost scoffs at the way he’s thinking. He’s not in his right mind now, because Im Jaebum isn’t one to ever doubt himself or mull over the pesky, minor details. But he should realize by now that it’s different. Everything is different when it comes to Jinyoung.

Jaebum must have took too long, because by the time he has a reply readily formed on the tip of his tongue, the younger boy is fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hopefully I didn't do too bad asdadsklfj
> 
> feel free to comment thoughts/suggestions =)


	2. The Love We Crave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a second part after much debate and tons of procrastination (but what else is new?). Anyways, enjoy sinning. I know I did ^^
> 
> P.S. Jaebum's pull out game is weak in this chapter

Sometime later, Jaebum stirs awake from his slumber to the sound of light snoring and a pleasant warmth enveloping him. He yawns and stretches lazily, bumping into the body next to him. At first, he has no idea where he is or why he’s there, and he’s fine with that. Then, after a couple groggy blinks, the memories come flooding back like water pushing a dam to breaking point, and it was no longer fine.

Jaebum gingerly unwinds himself from Jinyoung’s sleeping form, so serene and unaware of the chaotic thoughts running through his mind. He sits up, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can feel a headache coming on, and he’s hardly been conscious for more than a few seconds. Jaebum starts recalling each vivid detail of his and Jinyoung’s previous activities, every desperate gasp of his name leaving the younger’s lips, every stinging scratch clawed onto his back by blunt nails. Fuck, why couldn’t he control himself?

This could have all been a huge, irreversible mistake Jaebum doesn’t want to admit he’s made.

It’s not that he regrets it; well maybe he does—who knows. All he knows is that he’s wanted Jinyoung and he’s finally had him. There’s not really a point in regretting his actions now, despite how irresponsible they were as the leader, because what’s done is done. It’s over. Still, the revelation does nothing to put him at ease.

Jaebum wants to groan out loud, curse at anything and everything, but he doesn’t want to risk awakening the other occupant of the bed. As cowardly as it sounds, Jaebum can’t handle facing Jinyoung right now. He’s sure the moment he’s met with wide, glimmering eyes and endearingly pouty lips, he won’t last a second, no matter how strong he believes his resolve to be. Even just imagining how the younger would look, hair tousled and appearing thoroughly fucked, causes a faint stab of heat to pierce Jaebum’s abdomen. He wonders if there would be hurt and anger shining in those eyes, or endless lust and adoration.

Jaebum shakes his head, catching himself slipping away again. Definitely not what he needs. What he does need is to _think_ , and he sure as hell won’t be doing it in a room reeking of sex.

So Jaebum reaches for his discarded clothing, making quick work of pulling them on and heading towards the door once he’s finished. He takes special care in being quiet as a mouse the whole time. Luckily, Jinyoung is somewhat of a heavy sleeper and remains blissfully in the realm of unconsciousness as Jaebum dresses. Really, Jinyoung only makes it easy for him in his sleep. Whenever he’s awake, it seems every second with him is a test of self-control.

Jaebum takes one final look at Jinyoung on the bed, before he exits the room and shuts the door behind him. Thankfully, none of the other members are present, saving him an explanation of why he’s coming from Jinyoung’s room looking like a mess. Jaebum leans back against the wood, staring up at the ceiling and pondering over what to do next. He finds the clock on the wall. It was late, but it wasn’t that dark outside, so he could probably use a walk or something. Just to clear his head. After that, he’d come back ready to deal with Jinyoung and hopefully be able keep it in his pants this time.

Jaebum feels a prick of guilt, remembering how reluctant Jinyoung had been and how the younger told him he wasn’t ready. Yet Jaebum had pressed on. He was too focused on satisfying his own urges, that he didn’t take the time to consider how Jinyoung felt. Wasn’t he doing the same thing now? Selfishly running away from his problems and leaving Jinyoung to deal with it all?

Jaebum sighs. He was truly being the definition of despicable, and moreover, he was so confused. So uncertain of what he wanted. Jinyoung’s forlorn question resurfaces in his mind, replaying itself over and over, _what are we, hyung?_ But Jaebum doesn’t even know the answer himself.

Before he can give the situation any more thought, he’s already heading out the front door and into the crisp night air.

 

______

 

Jinyoung’s not sure how to feel.

One minute he’s lost in the heat of pleasure, and in another he’s waking up alone on cold, unforgiving sheets. Jinyoung blinks, stretching and attempting to untangle himself from the blanket. Unfortunately, the pain shooting up his backside has him immediately stopping in his tracks. He winces at the throbbing ache in his lower half. So what happened really wasn’t a dream after all.

Jinyoung is a little crestfallen. Scratch that, he’s _extremely_ disappointed. A small part of him had expected Jaebum to be waiting for him when he woke up, embracing him in his sleep or fondly carding fingers through his hair. Something sappy like that. How stupid he was to believe that would happen for even a second, Jinyoung thinks bitterly. It was nearly laughable. Apparently, the older thought he wasn’t worth the trouble, despite having holding him close like a lover hours before.

But that’s not what they are, right? Lovers, that is. And they’ll never be, not in this life or the next. Jaebum hadn’t even answered his question, probably thinking Jinyoung was asking something ridiculous, as if letting the cruel silence say, _isn’t it obvious? We’re nothing at all._ Unshed tears burn behind his eyes. The thought only manages to further dishearten Jinyoung, and he wants to cry from the absurdity of it. It wasn’t fair, the way Jaebum could leave so easily right after putting his hands on every inch of Jinyoung’s body, right after taking his heart without hesitation. Jinyoung can still feel those rough hands on him, grabbing, pushing, holding him down.

Jaebum should take responsibility for ruining him like this.

Sure, Jinyoung had initiated it. Those swift, barely there touches weren’t meant to be teasing, at least not in a sexual way. But that’s just how it turned out. He can’t accurately explain what prompted him to do them in the first place, except that he couldn't stop once he started. Of course Jaebum was at fault too, reciprocating his touches with an equal amount of enthusiasm until one night everything boiled over into a steamy makeout session behind a bathroom stall. The older kissed him passionately, every pent up emotion, every spark of desire and lust finally overflowing into their heated kiss. From that point on, things continued escalating, though remaining within unspoken, blurry boundaries. Until now.

Jinyoung can’t help it. He feels used and cheap, lying alone in bed with dried cum sticking to his stomach and parts of his face, and his naked body littered with a myriad of bruises. He doesn’t need a mirror to know how filthy he looks. Jinyoung inwardly cringes at how pliant he was for Jaebum, submitting without as much as a fight to the older’s every demand. Jaebum hadn’t cared about his reservations, simply going straight in for the kill.

Jinyoung laughs into the empty room without amusement. How could he not have seen it coming? Jaebum doesn’t care about him. Hell, he doesn’t even have any idea where Jaebum ran off to.

Though Jinyoung wants nothing more than to stay in bed and sleep the rest the day away, he knows he won’t feel better wallowing in his self-pity. He figures a shower and dinner would do him some good. He gets up from the bed, ignoring the soreness in his body.

 

______

 

Just like Jaebum anticipated, taking a short walk around the Han River relieves a large portion of his stress. The cool air does wonders to soothe the lines of tension in his limbs, and the quiet night gives him a good chance to sort out his thoughts in peace. He’d also received a text message from the rest of the members during his walk, notifying him that they’d left to go eat out and wouldn’t be back for another hour. Perfect. Jaebum runs a hand through his hair, preparing himself for an inevitable, possibly awkward, confrontation with his younger groupmate.

The first thing he should give Jinyoung is an apology. No excuses. Jaebum acknowledges what he did was wrong, inconsiderate, and if the roles were reversed, he would have definitely not appreciated being in Jinyoung’s position. Jaebum grimaces. He wasn’t looking forward to facing the younger, who no doubt is going to be upset with him. There’s nothing Jaebum hates more than Jinyoung in a bad mood, especially if he was the cause of it.

So he steels himself as he grabs the metal doorknob and twists, expecting to be met with one of two things: either the room was going to be dark and empty with no one around, or Jinyoung was going to be seated on the couch, awaiting his return with a cross expression etched onto his face. Jaebum isn’t sure which scenario he’d prefer more. However, once he finally steps into the building, it’s indeed dark, but the farthest thing from empty. Instead of finding an irritated Jinyoung sitting on the couch, the younger was sprawled out on the cushions, chest rising and falling steadily in sleep. Jinyoung looks freshly showered, droplets of water still clinging to his damp hair and dressed in clean clothes.

Jinyoung doesn’t wake even after Jaebum toes his shoes off and sheds his jacket. The older is left standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, debating whether or not he should rouse the younger from his nap.

Jaebum briefly thinks about showering first for some extra time, but fuck, he doesn’t want to run anymore. He doesn’t know if he loves Jinyoung. He’s never been good with feelings anyway, but the thought of someone else kissing or holding Jinyoung makes unpleasant chills run down his spine. He doesn’t know if it’s love, but he’s tired of running and Jinyoung makes him feel like nobody else. Jaebum sits down beside Jinyoung, shaking the other gently.

Jinyoung blinks awake sleepily, dark lashes fluttering as he opens his eyes. “Jaebum,” he breathes, voice wavering as if he doesn’t believe it’s really him. Then his eyes narrow and Jaebum feels the first prick of apprehension.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum blurts out. Surprise flashes across the younger’s face for a moment, and his lips part in a soundless gasp. He looks so taken aback; Jaebum never apologizes. “I know I was being a dick. You have every right to be upset with me. I’m sorry I crossed the line,” Jaebum continues sincerely, afraid to meet Jinyoung’s eyes directly.

“Was I a good fuck at least?”

Jaebum snaps his head up, jaw dropping. It’s his turn to be taken aback now. “What?” he asks, confusion lacing his tone.

Jinyoung just cocks his head to the side, not bothering to elaborate any further. Jaebum purses his lips, realizing the younger probably thought he was a fuck buddy or something to him. Wasn’t he though? It’s never really felt that way--the whole “no strings attached” type of thing. “You’re more than that,” Jaebum tells Jinyoung firmly, resting his hand on top of his. _You’re more to_ me _than that._

But Jinyoung jerks his hand away, eyes widening a fraction, as if Jaebum had scalded him with his touch. Jaebum frowns, ignoring the hurt he feels at the action, and instead wonders why Jinyoung suddenly appears so nervous.

“I-I...I told you to stop. Why didn’t you?” he mutters, eyes downcast and voice breaking at the end. He’s not looking at Jaebum, a small shiver wracking his frame that would go unnoticed if Jaebum wasn’t observing him so closely. The older instantly fills again with guilt at the statement, mouth going dry and scrambling for a decent response.

“Please look at me,” Jaebum requests carefully as he can, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He doesn’t make the mistake of suddenly touching Jinyoung again, knowing the boy is still uneasy. The younger eventually complies, lifting his head and meeting Jaebum’s eyes hesitantly. It’s now or never. “I couldn’t control myself,” he admits thickly, regretfully. “Because no matter how hard I try, you always make me lose control. I used to spend hours wondering why it was you, always you, who could do that to me. Jinyoung, I think I’m in love with you.”

A multitude of emotions flicker across the younger’s face then. Shock, hurt, anger, and then incredulity. Jaebum’s heart sinks at the other’s unexpected reaction, wondering if he should’ve confessed at all. Jinyoung looks about ready to burst into tears or slap him in the face, cheeks flushed a rosy color but he doubts it’s out of bashfulness. The younger glares at him indignantly, sneering in a way that makes Jaebum feel unbelievably small. “Don’t lie to me,” Jinyoung spits, suddenly fisting a hand into Jaebum’s shirt and yanking him forwards. Jaebum winces but lets himself be manhandled, knowing he had it coming after putting Jinyoung through what he did.

The shudders wracking through Jinyoung’s body are more apparent now, and he’s definitely about to cry. “I hate you so much,” Jinyoung exhales shakily, leaning into the crook of his neck. Though, he doesn’t sound convincing in the least.

Jaebum wills himself to say something, even though he’s mentally panicking and wholly unconfident in what to do next. The plan was not to make Jinyoung upset, which he’d obviously failed at. “I’m not lying--I’m done lying to you and to myself,” Jaebum assures the younger, sounding more steady than he feels. Jinyoung shakes his head hysterically, letting out a small sob that breaks Jaebum’s heart into a million tiny pieces. The older tentatively wraps his arms around Jinyoung’s shuddering form in what he hopes is a comforting manner, hugging him firmly, but not tight enough so that Jinyoung could push him away if he really wanted to. He doesn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum repeats softly, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to forgive me.” He keeps holding Jinyoung as the younger continues to cry into his shoulder, rocking them back and forth on the couch. At one point, Jinyoung returns Jaebum’s embrace and snuggles closer, warm breath fanning against the older’s skin with every exhale.

His tears subside after a while, turning into light sniffling and then going completely silent. “Jinyoung?” Jaebum tries cautiously. The younger merely hums in response, not moving from his position. Jaebum doesn’t mind, in fact his heart swells at the prospect of Jinyoung finally trusting him again, but he’s aware that the rest of the members will be home soon and the two of them are still wrapped around each other on the living room couch. Not a very subtle thing to walk in on.

“The others will be back soon,” Jaebum says, reluctantly peeling himself off of Jinyoung. The younger blinks up at him, eyes still slightly red and puffy, but he looks a lot more collected now. He has on a thoughtful expression.

“Hyung,” he starts. The older perks up at the name, hope glimmering in his chest. “I won’t forgive you.”

Jaebum’s heart plummets, a cold feeling of dread curling around his gut. But he said it himself, didn’t he? Jinyoung doesn’t have to forgive him now, or, as hard as it is to swallow, _ever_. It would make sense, and Jaebum had promised himself that he’d accept whatever decision Jinyoung would settle on.

“Unless you make it up to me.”

Jaebum’s eyes widen, staring at the other in shocked silence. He was giving him another chance. “Well?” Jinyoung asks, raising an eyebrow.

“How do you want me to make it up to you?” Jaebum questions uncertainly, still very much at a loss of what to do. Jinyoung sighs, exasperated, as if Jaebum is missing the most obvious thing in the world. Luckily, he doesn’t leave him clueless for long, making his intentions clear when he pulls the older into a kiss without warning.

Jaebum automatically relaxes as their lips connect, warm and inviting, the familiar sensation of Jinyoung’s plush lips welcome on his own. The younger moves on top of him, legs straddling his body. He threads a hand through Jaebum’s hair as he deepens the kiss, licking eagerly into the older’s mouth the moment he’s given entrance. Jaebum can’t help but moan lowly in his throat, hands gripping Jinyoung around his waist and grinding upwards. He’s rewarded with a small whine from Jinyoung when their clothed erections rub against one another.

They’re both breathless by the time they pull away for air, panting hard and cheeks tinted red. “Are you sure you want this?” Jaebum asks, and Jinyoung nods his head. They stumble down the hallway the best they can while retaining physical contact at the same time, Jaebum’s hands never leaving Jinyoung. Once they make it to the bedroom, he practically kicks down the door and ushers them inside.

They fall on the bed gracelessly, Jinyoung pulling the older down on top of him with haste. Jaebum gets to work, nipping and licking at the younger’s exposed neck, leaving fresh marks over the ones he made before. Lust and desire fill Jaebum, but it’s not suffocating like last time. This time, he makes sure Jinyoung wants it, makes sure the younger is craving it just as much as he is.

Jinyoung tries to muffle a moan behind his hand as Jaebum rolls their hips together. “Let me hear you,” Jaebum says. The other whines but removes his hand anyway, letting Jaebum take in the sight of him flushed down to his chest and laid out for him so perfectly. He looks like a work of art, all pale and flawless except around his neck, where it’s accentuated with violet bruises that contrast with his white skin.

He’s beautiful.

Jaebum doesn’t realize he’d said it aloud until Jinyoung’s cheeks bloom impossibly redder, the cherry color spreading to the tips of his ears. He shakes his head and Jaebum frowns. “It’s true,” Jaebum whispers, “You’re so pretty.”

“Jaebum…” Jinyoung breathes, at a loss for words.

Jaebum doesn’t mind his lack of response, only pressing another kiss to his mouth. “You don’t know how much I want you. How much I like you.”

Jinyoung closes his eyes. “So show me.”

It doesn’t take much more prompting for Jaebum after that. He tugs away Jinyoung’s pants and slips a hand into his boxers, palming at the younger’s leaking cock. Jinyoung makes a strangled noise at the action, mouth falling open and instantly canting his hips upward. Jaebum chuckles at the younger’s eagerness. He expertly strokes along the shaft a couple more times, precome making the slide easy. “Patience, Jinyoungie.”

“Hyung, please,” he pants.

Jaebum hums. “Please what?” Jinyoung shoots him a frustrated look from underneath him, but Jaebum doesn’t budge. He presses his thumb against Jinyoung’s slit, and the younger throws his head back in pleasure, mumbling profanities under his breath. “Please fuck me,” he grits out finally, bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“I need to prepare you first,” Jaebum mutters. He curses himself for not stopping for lube on the way to the room, having been preoccupied with _other_ things. Before he can even think about leaving to get some, however, a small bottle is being pressed into his hand. “Here,” Jinyoung says, albeit embarrassed.

Jaebum stares down at the lube provided, a slow smile creeping onto his face. “You’ve done this yourself before?” he teases the younger.

“No, with Mark,” Jinyoung huffs. He rolls his eyes, “Yes, I’ve done this before. Hurry up.”

Jaebum decides to stop teasing for now. He complies, slicking up his fingers with the cool lube. “What did you think about?” he asks, finger tracing over Jinyoung’s hole. He pushes two moistened digits in, slowly dragging them against Jinyoung’s walls and scissoring apart.

The younger shudders beneath him, looking wrecked even though they’ve barely begun. “You fucking me open,” he replies, voice thin. “Sometimes I’d finger myself and imagine it was you doing it, or your tongue.” He gasps when Jaebum crooks his fingers, locating his prostate. Jaebum nips at his ear, telling him to keep going.

“S-Sometimes, I’d think about you doing me from b-behind, how you’d press me into the mattress and leave marks all over my neck.” He swallows hard. “Or I thought about riding you. How I-I’d sink myself down onto your cock, taking it all inside me until I came. F-Fuck, hurry, _please_.”

Jaebum groans, Jinyoung’s filthy words creating a magnificent picture inside his head. His erection twitches within the confines of his jeans. Why was he still wearing those anyway? Jaebum clumsily goes to unzip his pants, trying not to get lube on himself in the process.

“Look who’s being impatient now,” Jinyoung quips. Even though he’s breathless, even though he’s a sweaty mess, there’s still a teasing lilt to his voice, and his eyes are shining with mirth.

“It’s your fault,” Jaebum says, spreading Jinyoung’s thighs apart. The younger squeaks when he feels the head of a cock pushing against his entrance, but not completely slipping in. Jaebum chuckles lowly. “Want it?” Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut and nods fervently, and Jaebum wasn’t in any place to deny him such a request.

He fully sinks into the younger with one swift thrust, Jinyoung’s walls stretching to accommodate his length. Jinyoung whimpers as Jaebum begins thrusting at a moderate pace, filling up every inch of him so perfectly, hitting him in all the right places.

“Does it hurt?” Jaebum rasps into his ear. Jinyoung quivers, “A little. But don’t stop.”

Jaebum quickens his pace the more Jinyoung becomes used to the feeling of being filled. Soon, the younger was nearly incoherent, the only words making it out his mouth were pleas to go harder and faster. Jaebum was all too happy to carry out his wishes. “I’m going to come soon,” Jinyoung pants, body wound up like a spring.

“Then come.”

He does just that, orgasm crashing over him after an especially hard thrust, coating his and Jaebum’s stomach with white. He whines in oversensitivity as Jaebum continues pounding into him, although a bit more gently than before. Jaebum follows soon after, spilling his warm come into him. Jinyoung twitches when Jaebum pulls out, flopping besides him on the bed.

“I just took a shower, and now I’m all dirty again,” Jinyoung laughs quietly.

“Sorry,” Jaebum mumbles. “I could still eat you out like you always wanted?”

Jinyoung flushes, covering his face in embarrassment. He groans. “I think you’re the devil sometimes.”

“I can be your boyfriend, too, if you’d have me.”

“...I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end (?)  
> Apologies if it felt rushed
> 
> Comments/thoughts/suggestions appreciated!


End file.
